STOP THE ELBOWS!!!

You may want to rethink that next bite, treat, or sip! Whoa Nellie! Stop the elbows!!! Have you checked the calories contained in foods these days?  One cup of dry Old Fashioned Oatmeal equals 300 calories.  This does not even begin to include all of the toppings to actually make it edible, i.e., blueberries (79 calories for one cup – I could eat three cups for less calories and turn my entire body into being TOTALLY ANTIOXIDANT!! (don’t we wish it really worked that way?)); 19 calories for 1 tablespoon of Half & Half cream; and thank goodness I do not add any type of a sweetener! Wowzer!

Now, if the above isn’t bad enough just to have a healthy breakfast and with enough calories left not only for lunch, but snacks and dinner, then check into how many minutes of walking it will take to work off each of those items. Get this – it takes 21 minutes of walking to work off 79 calories or one cup of frozen blueberries.  What?  I make myself walk at least 20 minutes even though I shoot for 30+ minutes, but I get too bored.   So, apparently I walk just enough to work off 79 measly calories. Sigh …

This is depressing.   Talk about letting the air out of someone’s balloon!  Couldn’t the nutritional gurus at least lie to help motivate us?  Nooooooo … this is where honesty is not the best policy.  Okay, so, here is what it would take to work off my breakfast and lunch:

1 cup dry Old Fashioned Oatmeal – 300 calories – 39 minutes of walking

1 tbs Half & Half – 19 calories – 5 minutes of walking

1 cup frozen blueberries – 79 calories – 21 minutes of walking

1(4 oz) roasted chicken thigh – 236 calories – 62 minutes!

(The chicken didn’t even walk that much!)

            1 “side order” of steamed broccoli – 104 calories – 28 minutes of walking – dang!

Did you do the calculations? That totaled 155 minutes or 2.59 (oh heck – 3 hours!) of walking just for breakfast and lunch.

At this point, who even wants to consider dinner?  Let’s just skip and head on over to the  5 oz glass of Merlot wine which is a whopping 124 calories resulting in 33 minutes of walking.  (How many of you even have 5 oz wine glasses at home, much less stop at the 5 oz line?  Exactly! Only in restaurants is it acceptable to serve a 5 oz glass of wine!  We are talking 12+ oz wine glasses!)  My thoughts are to walk and drink.  Savor each sip of that 5 oz for those 33 minutes!  Wine isn’t for chugging anyway (unless you are really having a bad day), so one shot glass (aka 5 oz wine glass) should last you for each 33 minute walk.  Yeah, I know, a shot glass is one oz not five, but seriously, it is truly what 5 oz of wine looks and feels like!   How many guys would be happy with 5 oz beer bottles?  Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

All I can say is that you know how some people (me) can’t walk and chew gum, too? I suggest we practice eating, drinking and walking!  Put the next 33 minute walk reward (shot of wine) ahead of me like grilled chicken in front of Dog!  Forget the gum!  Time to pick up the pace!

Ya gotta laugh!

Aunt Maxine

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