WHOA! …

I do not think either one of us expected to see the other.  At least, I know I didn’t.

I keep the curtains closed in the front of the house since it faces the south and heats up fast.   I have thought several times of keeping a pot holder in my purse to be able to open the front door!  That bad boy gets hot during the summer months!  OUCH!

The house was starting to get a little dark due to some dark clouds that were blowing in so I proceeded to open all of the curtains on the front side.  I got a little surprise when I opened my bedroom window curtains!  I am standing up close and personal to a Mama Cardinal sitting in her nest.  We were so close I could have identified her in a lineup of other Mama Cardinals!   She gave me that “What the heck?” look!

I almost cut down the tree yesterday but, thankfully, did not have time.  It is more of a tree wannabee in the making – in other words, a baby tree!   In the last few months, Dog would lie at the bottom of it nestled in the pampas grass when he was hurting and trying to hide from the world.  He made a bed in each of the 4 pampas grasses that I had planted.  He made himself a bed right in the middle – splitting them and looking more like a path.  Emotionally, I was a little hesitant in cutting it down, but knew I needed to before it got much bigger.  I am glad I didn’t have time.  I would have been devastated to find out afterward it contained a bird’s nest with eggs.   This will be great though because I can share daily photos of the babies once the eggs hatch and occasional photos of Mama Cardinal.  I love cardinals!  Red is my favorite color so go figure.

Years ago, before social media and digital cameras, I had a nest of hawks in the back which was located on top of a debris pile that was to be burned and was about four feet high.   I was surprised Mama Hawk did not place her nest in a more secure area.  I would walk down every afternoon and take photos of the babies.  I kept waiting for Mama to swoon down and attack me, but she never did.  One of the babies was a runt and sickly.  I actually watched him/her die and it broke my heart.  I couldn’t wait to get home after work every day so I could check on them and take their photos.

I love hearing birds sing, frogs croaking (which is usually an alert that it is going to rain!), etc.  Having a bird nest outside my bedroom window is one of the perks of living in the country.  (There are a lot of non-perks, too, like wildlife I don’t want to deal with much less photograph!)  I also have a nest on the back deck, but that Mama Bird is a little skittish and ends up scareing both me and her when she suddenly darts out of her nest!  So I have to tiptoe around her.  I have to hold on to the rails when I go down the steps as I am worried she will fly out and scare the doo waddling pooh (aka poop! another southern term) out of me!

Should I turn on the tv so she won’t be bored?

Ya Gotta Laugh!

Aunt Maxine!

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Dog’s Celebration of Life & Tribute – 01/04/2004 – 02/27/2017

Warning:  This is a long read, but Dog so earned it.  So bear with me. Humor?  Not so much today.  Dog did provide us with humor in the past which is why I am posting this also in the Humor category.

Sunday evening, 02/26/2017:

My heart is breaking and breaking and breaking as I write this. Tonight, I have had to accept the fact that Dog’s time on earth has reached the end.  Tears are flowing down my face and my nose is so stopped up I can barely breathe.  I can’t sleep!  I am surprised I can even see through my contacts.  How do you say goodbye to a fur baby that has been your protector, entertainer, pain in the butt, comforter, pain in the butt, best friend, pain in the butt, sounding board, child, pain in the butt, right hand man, shadow, pain in the butt, companion for the last 11 years?   Did I say pain in the butt?  As most of you know, he did that part so well!

While my blog is supposed to be all about humor, sometimes humor doesn’t make an appearance until much later when you get beyond the grief, sadness, and heartbreak and/or maybe it is part of the grieving phase.  I am not sure I will be able to find humor in this post, but in Dog’s honor I am going to do my darndest to do so!  He has always been such a prankster and in turn this will be a celebration of his life.  He has been entertainment not only for me, but for my family, friends, Facebook, Twitter and Blog friends.  It was actually family and friends who gave me the idea to create the Blog as they loved hearing what shenanigans Dog was up to next.  I wanted to name the blog “Aunt Maxine and Dog”, but since he was 12 years old at the time of the blog creation and already having issues, I knew that was probably not a good idea.  It broke my heart to not be able to do so, and so I did as many blogs as I could that included him.  To me, it will always be Aunt Maxine and Dog as Dog has definitely been the little Dennis the Menace in canine form and brought joy and laughter to so many people!

Dennis the Menace

If you are too young to know who Dennis the Menace is, then do what you do best and google him!  He is a trip!

Dog and I came to be about a month after I lost my previous dog and she was a force to be reckoned with in her own right.

Raisa

I lost her Christmas week of 2005.   She came to live with me when she was about two years of age and was with me for about 7 years and was the female canine version of Dennis the Menace, but so smart, sweet and loyal.   I didn’t think I would be ready for another dog for a long time.  But, then, about a month later, after a three-day weekend of walking around outside and looking behind me only to find no one there, coming home to a dark, lonely house, I knew I was ready.  I was lost. I was lonely.  And the house was a lonely dark even during the sunshine.  Apparently God thought so, too, as that following Monday, a good friend of mine at work walked me out at the end of the day and said, “I know it may be too soon for this and I do not want to make you cry, but do you think you would be ready for another dog?”  I was surprised as I could not believe the timing.   Her future son-in-law was looking for a home for Dog as he and Friend’s daughter were living in a townhouse with a crackerbox yard.  Dog had been chewing the furniture and he would be put in the crackerbox yard during the day only to bark all resulting in multiple municipal ordinance citations.

Can we say red flags??????  Furniture chewing?  Barking???  Hmmmm….   I have over three acres with about 2-1/2 fenced.  So, there was plenty of room to roam.  Instead of running the other way, I said okay, bring him out and let us meet.

We hit it off from the beginning.  Former Dog Dad actually got his feelings hurt because Dog went inside with me while Former Dog Dad was still outside beside his truck.  Not even turning around to say goodbye.  But, it didn’t take long.  Dog stayed near the gate for several weeks waiting for Former Dog Dad to return.  That broke my heart.  Happened with former Dog, too, when her Former Dog Dad left her with me.  Can you imagine?  I now can.  Don’t even think your dog will not miss you after a long period of time.  They never stop.

 

 

So, in trying to get him settled in and thinking I would not have to buy new dog thingies, I should have known better!  That darned dog would not go near Former Dog’s dishes – I tried.  Water and food dishes.  Nope.  He sort of danced around them.  I thought  mmmm – hmmmm,  she is haunting his butt telling him to stay away from her dishes and her territory!   I had to get him new dishes.  This should have been my first sign because he would not eat or drink out of metal bowls!  Really?  He would only drink out of plastic bowls  as in disposable bowls.   Couldn’t figure out why he wouldn’t eat or drink at the kennel until I realized it was the bowls!  Darned dog is a basket case or spoiled arse rotten dog  or both!

So from the beginning, due to Red Flags, Dog stayed outside when I left.  Remember how I said that Former Dog only took one day to learn to stay inside the gate unless received permission otherwise?  Dog?  Are you kidding me?  It took me months and two sessions of dog whisperer training to get him to stay inside the gate!   He only chewed up one pair of my shoes (brand new at that! Grrrr), and a few gardening pots, but other than that, he was in heaven!  He chased squirrels, deer, and barked at nocturnal critters (ugh).  He exerted that energy and became a great dog as long as he was either inside the fence, in a vehicle with the windows partially (half a head) down or on a leash!!!  Otherwise, he was gone!   If he ever got on a scent – especially a deer scent – you and everyone else might as well be poison ivy!  He couldn’t hear or see you!  He was on a mission and he sounded like a herd of elephants on a deer run!

I swear that dog could smell a deer from inside the house!  Unbelievable!  I stopped putting corn and apples out because all I seemed to be doing was fattening up the raccoons and squirrels as Dog kept the deer out of the yard.  It was really funny watching him on his runs.  All four legs would go out and his tail would turn into a propeller.  No joke. I have never seen a dog do this.  I kept trying to get video of Dog on a deer run, but, you just never know when he would take off and go.  So, unless I had a video cam going 24-7 on backyard, it wasn’t going to happen.

It was funny though because eventually the deer realized he couldn’t get beyond the fence and they would bust butt to jump the fence and stop just on the other side, look at him as he is jumping up and down going absolutely nuts.  It was like they were saying, “Nanny nanny boo boo – you can’t catch us!”

He would do this, too, for the squirrels, but not to the level of excitement that he would get with deer.  And he and the squirrels had their own games with each other.  Now, this is the dog that hated, absolutely HATED a bath.  I would have to chase him down just at my bringing out the dog shampoo and a towel.  He knew what the bottle looked like.  Are you serious?  Can’t I get a dumb dog for a change?  So, knowing this, it was really surprising that when a storm would come up, he would go nuts to go outside so he could check out all of the squirrels’ storm shelters!  Seriously Dog?  Get your butt in here before it gets struck by lightning!  He would be out there lollygagging!  And then I could get him to return to the house, he would be sopping wet!  Wet dog hair and towels.  A washing machine and dryer’s nightmare! Ugh!

When I first got him, I would take him with me on my errands.  Leave the windows rolled down and drive on down the road until THE day! Yep, THE day!  Every once in a while I had a problem with his barking at someone walking or being nearby, and I would roll up his windows.  No problem.  This day?  Not so easy!  I was sitting at a BUSY intersection – multiple lanes on all four sides – and back windows down – and just as I am pulling out to turn left he gets sight of a SQUIRREL on the left!  What?  He is about halfway out the window when I finally get ahold of the power button as I am trying to maneuver a safe turn to get the window up and keep  him inside, when he races to the other side, and sees another squirrel trying to dodge out that window!  Geeze oh pete, God Help Me, Please!!!!!   Prayers prayers prayers!  How I was able to make the turn safely and get both windows up while keeping Dog inside is beyond me. God is good!  I was a nervous wreck!   Needless to say, from that point forward, windows only were allowed down to half-head height – in other words, he could only get half his head out side of a window! This is a dog that doesn’t like wind on his body such as a ceiling or other type fan, much less hanging his head out a window, so no issue!  He likes to put his nose out just enough to get the smells and then he settles back down in the seat.  Ahhhh…. Dang dog!

The last week or two near the end, he was at my side 24-7.  He would pant if I wasn’t nearby and many times even if I was he would peel his ears back.  That was a sign he was in pain.  I was already giving him almost the full dose that I was allowed to do so.  I tried to give him whatever he needed or wanted.  The last night, I had to call friends over to help me get him inside.  I tried everything I could to coax him in – the Yum Yums (smoked chicken), nope.  Tried picking him up – he yelped in pain no matter where on his body I put my hands. I cried.  I gave him extra pain meds – nope.  I tried using a towel as a hoist, but he again yelped in pain.   The temps were going to dip too low to leave him outside and I couldn’t anyway.  He needed to be near me.   It was getting late.  I had been trying for several hours – even ran to Target to see if they had a rear-end type harness I could use.  But, nope.  I finally called my Bestie and she and Hubby came immediately.    I was in tears when they pulled into the driveway as Dog and I were sitting outside, me with a blanket and he with a towel over him to trying to keep him warm.   Bestie gets out and she, too, is in tears but immediately tries to change the atmosphere and she almost does until we all realize that THE TIME has arrived.  I think we all thought we had more time – several more months or longer.   Guess not.

I have watched him try to do a squirrel run and it just isn’t happening.  It is heartbreaking to watch, but I try to let him have his moments.  He tries.

Dog loves Bestie and Hubby so they go up on deck to try to coax him and nope.  Not happening.  He is so happy to see them though.  They decide to have him lie down on a blanket and they will then pick up the blanket to bring him in.  He was very calm throughout the process.  That told me a lot.  I saw his look when he was in the blanket.  It is time.  And my and Bestie’s hearts break all over again.

So, tonight, I have tried to go to bed my normal time, but all I could do was cry.  I listened for Dog to see where he was.  I used to could hear his “click click click” all over the hardwood floors, but those clicks have faded over time as I have not heard then in a while.   I was waiting to hear him last night after I had already gone to bed as he made it from the kitchen to the bedroom and there weren’t even any clicks, just a really slow walk.  You couldn’t even hear the clicks and I really had to strain to hear him walking.  I have noticed for the last week or so that he has been sleeping just inside the master bathroom door which is about 3 feet from my bed – and he hasn’t moved all night long which is so unusual.  He is usually all over and everywhere all night long which depends on the nocturnal critters and temperatures.  And on weekends, he has been in and out even more than usual.   I believe it is because he can’t get comfortable and doesn’t want to get far from me at same time.  Can you say heart breaking all over again? This is a different antsy – more like, please help me as I can’t get comfortable.

Maybe it has been past time, but not for me.  How do you let go when it is time to let go?  I have always known that humans have to be ready to let go of their fur babies when it is past time them to go.  That seems so selfish, but then humans hang on sometimes until one or all of their loved ones can let go.  Why are fur babies any different?  They aren’t.  They, too, have to make sure their Human is ready for them to go and will be okay.

It is now 3:30 a.m. and I really need to get to bed, but I am still wide awake.  I am tired, but awake.  My heart is broken and tired.  I am watching him sleep as I know tonight may be the last evening I have with him.  Tears start to flow every time I think of “goodbye”.  I keep taking photos to capture memories.  Most are already in my memory cells and can’t be captured with a camera.  I keep trying to make sure I can make his last time, minutes, moments being of good thoughts, happy times and my holding him.

Monday, 02/28/2017:

I woke up with Dog lying right beside my bed.  I had placed a towel in the bathroom where he normally slept with hopes of giving his back legs more traction, but apparently he didn’t agree.  My heart broke when I saw he couldn’t even sleep his last night in his spot.  He just recently started sleeping as near me as he could and being right under my feet.   It has only been since Sunday evening that I have thought back on his recent changed habits that should have been red flags flapping me in the face.  Could it be because we do not want to see those flags?  Denial?  I believe so.  As long as I could see sparkles in his eyes, happy to have his yum-yums (smoked chicken tenderloins a/k/a pill wrappers), Denta-Stix and whatever else he could twist my little finger to get, I kept thinking he was fine and issues were temporary or that I could fix with home treatments, food, increased medication, etc.

March 11, 2017

First this this morning wearing my shades to hide the tears, I picked up Dog rom the Vet.  He was in a gift bag along with a few other items, cards, etc., but I cannot look in it.  Not yet.  I brought the bag home and placed it on the table next to the sliding glass doors overlooking the back that he loved.  Also on the table sits the plaque and the cards that close friends gave me in memory of him.

IMG_0761

 

March 18, 2017

I thought I was ready to continue with his tribute, but I am not so sure.  Last Saturday I picked up his remains along with the gift bag of other items, which included his paw print.  I could not look in it.  I thought I could today since I have been dogsitting  Bestie’s two dogs this week.  That is a whole ‘nother  post all by itself!  (FYI “’nother” is southern slang aka “another”.) As I looked in the bag, tears started welling up.   His paw print – yep, that is his.   I couldn’t bear to cut his nails as it was too painful to maneuver his body in order for me to do so and therefore I definitely recognize his paw print.  In addition, he had slender paws.

IMG_0762

I will look into the best way to display it, whether shadow box, frame of some kind, etc.  There are so many new ideas out there today.  I will post it when I do.  I welcome any suggestions you may have as well.

I can’t bear to look further into that gift bag.  One day I will.  But, not today.

Yesterday, I ordered a set of charms from a good friend of mine in his memory.  Not only was I helping her 4 year old grandson’s fund (he has had amputations and about to undergo more surgery on 03/20/2017), but it will help  to keep Dog’s memory alive – not like that would ever be a problem or anything!

IMG_0765

[Courtesy of Nancy Parnell and Premier Jewelry.]

Dog, you touched so many people and they loved you ALMOST as much as I did.  You will always have my heart.  You provided me with love, loyalty, aggravation, love, frustration, love, entertainment, but most of all, love.  I will forever miss you.   Give a lick to Dog 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 for me  and know that I will see each of you again one day and give you hugs and kisses!  Until then, enjoy the squirrel and deer chases.  Hopefully you will now be able to at least catch one of each.

Love ya Buddy.  You will be forever missed.

Your Human Mom

aka Aunt Maxine

 

 

 

r

 

RIP – 01/04/2004 – 02/27/2017

A tribute to Dog is forthcoming and will be shared with you when I am able to complete it.  Now you know why I have been quiet.  Please bear with me as I mourn the loss of my best buddy.

With sadness and heartbreak,

Aunt Maxine

P.S.  Even though not a shred of humor can be found in anywhere in this situation, I am sharing it in the Humor category as many of you got to know Dog. 

Dog & Happy Hour

Why why why do I never learn from past mistakes? If there is one thing I thought I had learned and it was not to start Dog on anything new that he MIGHT like, much less would LOVE and result in driving me absolutely crazier!   I do believe he is milking this “I’m old and hurting” thing.

I buy the mini-Milk Bone biscuits which are 5 calories each and break in half to give him while I eat my human food or just for a simple treat. I used to give Prior Dog human food while I ate and that was a HUGE MISTAKE!  I made another HUGE MISTAKE of trying to break her from it when I decided to not share with her the beef roast I had smoked.  That dog pouted and went on a hunger strike and slept in the living room keeping her back to me at all times for 3 days!  You think I am kidding?  I wish I was! On day 3, I couldn’t take the guilt anymore and went home at lunch, giving her the rest of the darned roast resulting in her being happy as could be from that point forward!  I am not sure which is worse – having a dog or a husband!

So, “allegedly” having learned with Prior Dog, I was not going to give Current Dog human food especially from the grill!!!! Well, that lasted most of the 11 years I have had him until he started down the old and decrepit road of old age.  You already know about the grilled/smoked pill wrappers and homemade chicken broth for his kibbles (dry dog food).  Now you can add cheese to those Mini-Milk Bone Biscuits.  Seriously. Sigh …

happy-hour

Dog gets right in my face and will not even wait for me to have 3-4 bites. Nope.  He thinks he should have one for every one I receive.

happy-hour-dog

Um… who is working and paying the mortgage and buying the food here Buddy? Oh well … he is the Little Old Cranky Man getting older and more decrepit.  And I am working on fulfilling his bucket list aka my guilt list.   Lord help me.

Ya Gotta Laugh!

Aunt Maxine!

Squirrel Syndrome!

Got your attention, didn’t I? Ha! You just may recognize it once you read the definition. And, watch out! Apparently, it is contagious!   My niece, Maxine Jr., decided to pass it up to me since I and others in the family have been infamous for passing unwanted issues down the line with her in the mainstream.

A friend asked me today via e-mail what was up with my continuous forgetting to do a certain event that is a requirement.  I explained, sorry, but the Squirrel Syndrome takes over when I get distracted.  Her reply was, “huh?”  I could picture her scratching her head.  So, I had to explain.

Do you have times when you are on track, doing exactly what you planned and needing to do? You think, “This is going to be a breeze.” Nope! Something throws you off track. Think of a squirrel coming out of nowhere and you yell, “SQUIRREL”!   Yep, that is the Squirrel Syndrome. You are now off track, can’t remember squat about what you were doing and have no clue where that track went or how to get back to it.

Friend had never heard of it, but she said, too, knowing me that she totally believes it.  Hey!  What can I say?

Welcome to the Squirrel Syndrome Club. It has now been passed down to you!

Now, what was I doing again?

Ya Gotta Laugh!

Aunt Maxine

 

Chapter 999,999,999 of Me vs. Dog

I swear this dog is THE most stubborn dog I have ever in my life been around much less owned!   I was so frustrated and upset when I (FINALLY) left for work this morning that I was muttering all the way!  “Darned dog.  You are pushing my last buttons!  Blah blah blah …I’ll put your butt down a lot sooner than you need to be! Blah blah blah  GET OUT OF THE WAY!  JUST GO!!!  … blah blah blah …Dog, you really have no clue how spoiled you are.  Oh yes you do! Blah blah blah  …”

[Note: Before you  get all riled up and have your panties/drawers all in a wad, Dog is not going to be put down unless it is necessary for his quality of life and, then, until it is probably way past time to do so.  I have been this route with two of my prior dogs and it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life.  I love this dog and that is the problem as he knows it ALL TOO WELL!]

Due to the cold weather North Florida has been experiencing this week, Dog has had to spend his days inside. He has not been happy.  He shoots out the back door like a cannon as soon as I open the door every evening.

Apparently this morning, he decided he wasn’t having it. Nope.  He was taking this bull by the horns and directing the decision.  And, that he did!  Midway through  my makeup routine, he comes in bathroom panting and all antsy.  Well, we all know what this means:  1) pain; 2) outside; 3) treats; 4) food; 5) water; and/or 6) just to irritate the daylights out of me because he can.  Number 6 probably needs to be placed in the first spot instead of the very last or, oh heck! Just include it in every one!

This morning it turns out Nos. 2 & 6 were the answers. He was not going to stay inside.  No sirree!  Nope.  Nada.  Not happening. I let him out and continue getting ready for work.  I had already made the decision to leave him outside today as the weather was going to mimic a beautiful Spring day!  (And I have to go to work! Hmph!  And Dog isn’t spoiled?  I go to work while he enjoys all the benefits!)  I am running on time at this point so begin to prepare everything for his outdoor comfort and wellbeing.  In addition, since he will refuse to come inside, I proceed to get his pills and “smoked chicken pill pockets” ready so I can just give to him before I enter my vehicle.  Piece of cake, right?  Nope!  (Why would you even think it would go that easy?)

At this point, I am pushing the clock. Out I go, loading all of the bags (excluding the kitchen sink today) and coffee mug in vehicle while Dog is giving me “that” look – you know, the stank eye (see pic above).  He is lying down behind my vehicle just glaring at me.  I call him.  He saunters on over and the first yum yum he spits out! What?  And then walks off!  You are probably thinking, so leave him as is and don’t worry about his Yum Yums.  You do not understand.  These Yum Yums contain pain pills and Prozac!  I will have to deal with the repercussions of his not taking them and that would not be a good scenario – even worse than what I am going through trying to give them to him.

So, after him I go with the Stuffed Yum Yums. Spits each one out!  I get the Prozac down and start with the rest.  You are going to take these pills if you have to choke on each Yum Yum!  Finally!  Success!  But, at this point, I am not only late for work, but PO’d hence the muttering all the way to work!

I reluctantly send Boss an e-mail that he is used to receiving at least once a week: “Running late, but on my way.” .. ugh … so thankful for a boss who is not a morning person! Whew!

So, of course, on the way to work, who do I get behind ALL THE WAY TO WORK – Slowbees!!!! MOVE! JUST GO FOR GOODNESS SAKE!  GOOOOOOO!!!!!

Lord help me. Better yet, Lord, please help those who cross my path today.  Thank you and amen.

Until the next chapter …

Ya gotta laugh!

Aunt Maxine

P.S. Can Dog come stay with you?

 

 

You Know It Is Going To Be One Of Those Days …

First, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! I hope your year is starting off better than mine!

And, today is Dog’s 13th birthday! Happy birthday Buddy! Now, stop being such a cranky little old man!  (I am thankful that he is doing so well as there have been times in the last several months that I really did not think he would make it to today.  Hopefully, more good and aggravating times are in store!)

You know how you can tell it is going to be one of those days? One thing leads to another to another to another to another … STOP ALREADY!   I wish it was that easy!

Well, this is how my morning started – rather early, too, I might add!

            First, I wake up at 2 a.m. and started tossing and turning.  Now, mind you, I do believe Dog can hear my eyes open!  Yes, you heard me.  I don’t know what it is, but somehow he senses I am awake!  After about 30 minutes, my bladder decided it was awake, too.   Great (groaning emphasis added). So, up I get, turn on bathroom light and I hear Dog get up and start coming into the bathroom! Nooooooo!!!  Can I just have some privacy, please?  Oh no.  He wants to go outside RIGHT NOW.   Stands right in front of me and starts panting.  Really?  Can I finish my bizness first?  Now he starts “THE” dance!  In and out of the bathroom!  Gotta go now!  Gotta go now!  No you don’t.  You didn’t have to go until I got up!

            Sigh … up I am.  Now, bathroom and living room lights are on.  Dog is all excited!  Don’t even.  Out he goes.  I grab a throw blankie and crawl up on the sofa and wait.  About 20 minutes later, I realize he isn’t outside doing his bizness, he is probably hunkered down and snoozing somewhere.  I call him.  Here he comes sauntering over from beside the house.    Get your butt in here now!  More sauntering aka lollygagging.  It is now about 3 a.m. and I am wide awake and so is DOG! Ugh.

            I grab my pillow and another throw blankie and decide I will go back to sleep on the sofa.  I start catching up on the news and FB.  About an hour later, 4 a.m., I am starting to doze off! Yay!  Still about another 1-1/2 hours of sleep that I can catch before the alarm starts.   I barely closed my eyes when BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK!  What?  Yep, the alarm!  Snooze!  Ahhhh … BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK!  Snooze!  This went on for way too long.  I am now running late. Period.

            Coffee poured, Dog’s breakfast ready and he wolfs it down while I maybe have one or two sips of coffee and trying to catch the weather to see if the temp will allow him to be outside or require an inside nervous doggie day!   Ready to go outside?  I open the door and NOPE!  He plops down in the middle of the floor.  This dog has really gotten stubborn over the last several years.  I am, like, great.  If temp is going to be too cold for outside, then it means Dog just ate dry dog food with cooked brown rice, peas, carrots, chicken livers/gizzards and his “bizness” is not going to wait for 8-10 hours! GREAT (another groan sarcasm emphasis added!).  I make him go outside anyway so I can jump in shower and get ready for work.

           Well, after shower, I walked to laundry room where I discovered the jumbo Ziploc bag full of what “WAS” newly purchased bags of frozen strawberries, mango, etc. on the floor by the freezer! Yep, the evening before, I had to do a butt up in air to get to the veggie scrap bag to save $2.00 worth of leftover fresh sage only to lose $20.00 worth of frozen fruit.  You realize the strawberries are going to be mush, don’t you?  Well, I threw the entire bag in a huge bowl and placed in refrigerator to deal with this evening.

           I check on Dog and he doesn’t look like he has budged from the deck.   The day just keeps getting better and better and better and I haven’t even left for work yet!!!

          The weather finally came on at a time that I was able to watch it. YES!  Temps are good for Dog to be outside!  And, of course, as I grab everything to head out the door, Dog is all about going outside.  At least two things out of what seem like 100 are working out. Whew!  Now, remember, my day actually started at 2 a.m. and it was already 8:40 a.m. which meant I should have already been on my way!  Not to mention, today was first day of school since the Christmas holidays!  Running late plus traffic plus the morning I am having = not good!

         Needless to say, the morning commute did not venture from the rest of the morning. I get behind not only a school bus, but also a garbage truck on a two-lane road and a huge SUV that is trying to get 15 mpg instead of 14 mpg by going 35 in a 45 mph zone.

         I do the dreaded – send Boss the dreaded weekly e-mail – running late, but on my way! (Thank goodness he isn’t a morning person either!)  Unfortunately, he decides to come in after he said he would be late and his feet hit the floor running when he walked through the door.  My feet were still back at home on the sofa!

          It may be a new year, but some things never change!

Ya gotta laugh!

Aunt Maxine