Bluesie Magoo, Ms. Geepers and Me!

This was a first for me.  Was it a bucket list item?  Not at the time, but guess someone wrote it in and I have now checked it off as “DONE”!  What was “it”?   Driving to Tennessee by myself and in the pouring down rain!  It may be more like two bucket list items as this girl does not like to drive in the rain even when I am in familiar territory, much less when I have no clue where I am and/or going!  And I don’t do mountains!

Let me introduce the trio:  Me – well, hopefully, I do not have to tell you who I am, but for all of you newbies, I am Aunt Maxine; Bluesie Magoo – my trusty old vehicle which is a blue 2008 Chevrolet SUV that has only about 94,000 miles on him; and Ms. Geepers (pronounced “Gee-pers”) – the GPS – who often times does not know where she is either or to where she is taking me!  Ms. Geepers and I have had some really gritty conversations!

This is the longest trip that Bluesie Magoo has made as his average is about five hours.  I never really trusted him before since he seemed to stay in the shop a lot (monthly for about a year) when I first adopted him in 2012.  He was used and maybe abused or maybe it was me being abused by the dealership!  Since I started taking him to my personal mechanic instead of the dealership, he is loving life a lot more and so am I!  (History of Bluesie Magoo is a story for another day.) So, I decided to put Bluesie Magoo to the test – a 12 hour test!   Yes, it took me 12 hours to drive what should have been a 9-10 hour trip at the most!  It was Ms. Geepers’ fault!

One reason I do not like to travel is I HATE (and, yes, I said the word “HATE” and I hate the word “HATE”) driving on interstates.  They are dangerous.  I like to make sure I have my estate planning documents all in order and updated before I enter onto an interstate even just for a short jaunt around the town.  People are nuts as soon as they get on an interstate.   It is like social media – people tend to show their craziness on social media; same thing on the interstate highways – drivers tend to show their immortality and crazy thinking! Wowzer!  Slow down buddy!  If one makes a bad move, it is over for a whole slew of others who are in close proximity!  Therefore, I tend to travel the back roads which is more enjoyable anyway as they allow you to view the countryside.  There is so much personality in the small towns along back roads.  Check out these traffic signs in Baconton, GA.

 

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.How quaint!  Loved them

 

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You do not see stuff like this on the interstate highways.  This is one of those you stop and smell the roses IN THE RAIN!

 

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Okay, so these are like daisies, but you know the cliche!  Roses, daisies, freshly mowed grass, whatever!

And if it is raining, the drivers are even more crazy and immortal on the interstate highways! AUGH!  So, what do I do?  I ask Ms. Geepers to avoid the highways and let’s go the backroads.  Well, apparently, she can’t decipher between highway and interstate.  Really?   I couldn’t figure out where I was half the time which is scary as it was raining most of the way.  And this girl doesn’t do travel and rain at the same time.  Ms. Geepers was taking me almost to the western side of Georgia when I needed to just go parallel with I-75, just not on I-75.  Hello????  Then, she takes me on these really back backroads!  I have no clue where I am.  There are no signs other than a street sign or two and she keeps telling me to turn.  Then, this was where she and I about butted heads big time – turn left – what?  That’s a clay road going behind a house and looks like it is going up a mountain!!  Nooooo!  What?   I turn around in the driveway of the house and, she then tells me to turn right onto the clay road!!!  NOOOOO!  For one, I have lived on a clay road and it isn’t fun when the clay is wet!  Slip sliding away!   And, two, it looked like it was going into the middle of nowhere and never to be heard from again!  This girl wasn’t turning.  Nuh -uh!  Nada!  Ain’t happening!  No!  Ms. Geepers, you are nuts!

So, I try to double back and lo and behold, I find this 4 lane highway that she was trying to keep me off of that goes right by where I assume the Never to be Heard From Again Road comes out.   Why can’t you just let me do these little highways????  Next, she has me go all the way around to come back out to this highway again.  Really?  All I wanted to do was go to Tennessee to see my niece and the boys in this lifetime!  Is that too much to ask, Ms. Geepers?  Apparently it is as this happens more and more throughout the trip!  I was so ready to embrace I-75!!!

I finally make it up just south of the Tennessee/GA line and I hop onto I-75!  I was never so happy to see this interstate!!!    I would have stopped, kissed the highway if it weren’t for the fact I would become a dead frogger!  Besides, all I was trying to do was avoid Atlanta and the crazies!  The rest of the drive was okay, not great, as I ran into more rain in Knoxville and it was dark!   I finally made it safely and everyone had to get up early for work the next morning, so they were already asleep – woke up long enough to help me in, get and receive hugs – then zzzzzzz again.  That’s family.  We are good with being considerate of each other by saying – go to bed – See ya tomorrow! Love ya!

For my route home?  I decided to take I-75 as it was a Sunday and I had to be at work the next morning.  And Ms. Geepers won.  At least the sun was shining and it was a beautiful day to crank up the sounds and taking it on down the road!  On the road again (one of my favorite all time traveling songs by Bob Seger) …

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I stopped and had breakfast with a Bestie who also lives in Tennessee. And I arrived home in a timely manner with time to sit back with a glass of wine and go ahhhhhhhh …life is good!

Ya Gotta Laugh,

Aunt Maxine

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